In group Love, Out group Hate

So, I'm atheist in a muslim majority country. Not the most favorable position to be in, but I do  get to see some interesting things

Religious Intolerance

First off, religion intolerance is alive and kicking in my country. I once got an interview offer as a translator while waiting for a ride. The dude kept trying to poke around my name till I called him out on it and he said that there was a translation office looking for translators but they only accept muslims (my name is ambiguous in regards to religion. but there are names that explicitly state religion) lol, no way I'm going

Now here's the interesting thing. Most people have a fnord straw man of atheists as selfish depressed decadent nihilists. I don't blame them, you get clergymen degrading non-believers. This includes the Abrahimic religions despite them being viewed as partially correct. You rarely get a chance to interact with atheists so I don't blame people for viewing atheists negatively

Atheists get an even worse treatment. In the unlikely chance that one appears in some public discourse, they will be labelled as mentally ill, mocked, and dismissed. They usually get death threats and legal cases of "inciting debauchery" and "insulting religion"

I don't fit into the stereotype that people have, I cuss less than average, I don't do drugs, I am somewhat kind and I don't even have a dating life (let alone an active sex life) 

Discussing Religion and Touchy Topics

Now, I am quite open about my religious views, for three reasons. 

First I hope to shift the Overton window. At the most extreme, I'd make people accepting of atheists, this is unrealistic but eh shit takes time. The more realistic interim goal is making people be religiously tolerant.

I've had some success with this. Made a friend stop being violent to gays and instead just be homophobic, not perfect but progress at least. Another friend who is a religious minority was worried about expressing his views but is now a bit more comfortable. So this stuff works apparently

Second, I want there to be intellectual honesty. If I'm wrong I get to learn, if not then I help others. This can't happen if I keep my real views closeted. For safety, both physically, economically and psychologically, I usually end up hiding my views by mentioning every single view on a topic and watching reactions. (In hindsight, the 'intellectual honesty' seems like shallow virtue signaling as I haven't been in that many debates)

Third, you cannot feel emotionally safe if you suspect that if people know your secrets that they'd turn on you. Ironically being open about things filters out the people you don't want, makes people at the very least respect your honesty, and encourages them to open up.

Discussing difficult topics isn't as hard as people make it out to be. If you can keep your emotions in check, remain respectful and listen, its quite easy to deescalate tension. Just make sure to stay safe

In Group Out Group

So what were the reactions I saw? Generally they can be split into two camps, I'm in group or out group. If I haven't built enough rapport, and people find out, they usually are like "oh, ok" and then avoid me (I didn't notice this but friends did point it out.) If I'm viewed as in group, People are shocked to find out that I'm atheist, and try to explain away my views as "You're just angry at god / lost" or some variant there of and try to convert me (Honestly, I appreciate it. They do it in more of a caring and loving way than a sermonizing one)

The reaction I get isn't rare or special. it's a common feature of humanity. The real definition of any group is anyone considered a friend. Even if that person is viewed as an outsider or enemy by the views of the group. 

Hitler protected the Jewish doctor that treated his familly for free when he was a kid and praised him as "a good jew." David Daryl, a black musician, made friends with the leader of the KKK, Rodger Kelly. Over time, Kelly started respecting and trusting Daryl but remained a member and believer of the KKK. Eventually Kelly left the KKK. Changing an entire world view is not an overnight feat, it can take years and will take a lot of pain. 

How do you want your enemies to treat you?

When I was younger, I was pissed at how I'd get dismissed sometimes in religious / existential / philosophical debates. Completely blind to the irony that I was equally guilty by dismissing anything religious without listening to people

Lets do a quick thought experiment, imagine you have a device that will make your enemy obey whatever rule you say however the rule will be translated to fit whatever belief system they have. What would you order?

Simply asking some flavor of do good and be kind won't help as the definition of good and kind varies (calling out the i'M bRoOtAlY hOnEsT crowd.) People generally tend to look down on and degrade their enemies to give themselves a kick of superiority. We aren't better than this, so we might  as well try to fail gracefully

Things such as making sure people are heard and their emotions validated are simple and powerful. But we rarely extend this kindness to our enemies. Hate groups usually do, the red pill acknowledges some systematic issues against men and validates thier pain and anger (good) but then gives out very toxic beliefs (bad.) 

Our enemies at the end of the day are humans just like us. We should treat them kindly as we can. (caveat: avoid holding cooperative spherical cows)